Katia (katiaswift) wrote in where_no_woman,

Beverly Crusher short fic: Shame

Title: Shame
Character: Beverly Crusher
Rating: PG
Word Count: 172
Summary: "I love Jean-Luc Picard. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that." A very short AU oneshot I wrote about Beverly Crusher's internal conflict as she struggles to come to terms with her feelings for Jean-Luc. Pre-series.

(In my slightly angsty little universe, Beverly was in love with Jack when she married him, but she slowly grew to just see him as a friend, which is the source of much hardship.)

Enjoy! I'd love feedback if you're willing to give it!

I should be ashamed to feel this way.

Jack's the perfect man. He’s kind, and gentle, and he loves me. He loves Wesley. He’s a wonderful father.
So why don’t I love him like I should? Why would I rather be in the arms of another man? What’s happening to me?
No. I can’t think this way. I love my husband. I love him. Think logically, Beverly. Stop living with your head in the clouds. Why would I have married him if I didn’t love him? I’m more sensible than that. I love him.
He’s done so much for me. He’s taken care of me when I needed someone there. He’s the father of my- our child. Our child. Our son. Our Wesley.
Wesley needs a father. I need my husband. Of course I’m in love with him.
I have to love him.

What if I can’t? What if... w-what if I love another?

Say it. Just say it, Beverly. Stop lying to yourself.
I… I… I l-love…

I love Jean-Luc Picard.

And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Tags: character: crusher, creative: fic, relationship: het
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